


But My Sorrows, They Learned to Swim

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Star Wars, Episode VIII: The Last Jedi [15]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Aftermath of character death, Canonical Character Death, Drunk Poe Dameron, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, In Vino Veritas, Inspired by Music, M/M, POV Poe, POV Poe Dameron, Platonic Relationships, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Wakes & Funerals, character death is han solo, drowning my sorrows, drunkfic, married darkpilot, platonic stormpilot, referenced darkpilot, the last jedi speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 23:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10752303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The Resistance is having another funeral for Han Solo on Bespin, and Poe, overcome by past events, starts drowning his sorrows. Finn tries to help.





	But My Sorrows, They Learned to Swim

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: In Vino Veritas/Drunkfic
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Title was taken from "Until the End of the World" by U2. Fantastic song, and actually helped a lot in writing this.

The thing about Han Solo's funeral was that it seemed to be the funeral that never ended.   
  
They already had the funeral on D'Qar, of course, and now they were having the funeral on Bespin. Sharing all sorts of stories, stories about Han and what he was like, laughter and tears in equal measure, and meanwhile, Poe did what he could to contribute. Shared stories about him playing sabaac with Poe, teaching him about the Falcon, things of that nature. How he was a lot like a father to a lot of them, Mike, Annie, Thomas, Poe --  
  
Lando, meanwhile, was sharing one of those stories about when Han had made up that one song on the spot during his bachelor party. General Organa had clearly not heard that story before, and she was laughing. Something about her expression in that moment -- she was already beautiful in the way that someone who had seen a lot was beautiful, but she was practically radiant in that moment.  
  
Poe smiled, all the while taking another shot of Corellian ale. The shots were already piling up, but he didn't care. After everything that happened, getting as drunk as possible wasn't just necessary, but an act of survival.   
  
"Poe. Buddy." Finn's voice. "Don't you think you've had a little much?"   
  
"It's not _tha'_ much. Really."   
  
Finn looked critically at the shotglasses that Poe had collected. Not too far away, the music was blaring too loudly -- awful music, the sort of stuff that Han would have liked of course but that Poe knew without a doubt simply was not his thing. Something about a beautiful girl. Poe knew that he wasn't in the mood for that tonight. It was what Han would have wanted, maybe, not for others to get too choked up, but still...   
  
"Just looking after you, buddy. You doing all right?"   
  
"I _hate_ Ben."   
  
"Ben? That was who Kylo Ren was before...y'know, right?"   
  
"Pretty much, yeah." Poe reached for another shotglass, but Finn gently put a hand over his.   
  
"It's jus' another drink."   
  
"And I don't want you to get too drunk, buddy." Silence. "But yeah, you're gonna have to get in line for that one."   
  
"Yeah. I know." Poe sighed. "Wha' he did t'you -- I couldn't believe it. I mean, he did some nasty stuff before, but you...tha' was one of the worst. You're a good person. No, you're not jus' a good person, Finn."   
  
"Well...thanks."   
  
"You...you an' Rey...you mean everything to me."   
  
Finn's eyes widened. "Poe..."   
  
"You...you're both good people. Brave people. Kind. You kinda remind me of...way back in the day. Before everything went to the Corellian hells in a handbasket."   
  
"Who?"   
  
"Jus' some Jedi friends I had. Ben...Ben and I..." Poe trailed off. Even in his drunk state, he didn't know how to tell Finn how he and Ben had been married. Then, "I hate the fact I still love Ben."   
  
"You and him..."   
  
"Yeah. We were even married." Poe sighed. "I need another shot."   
  
He took another, belched, before continuing on with his story. He talked about Ben, how they had known each other as kids, how Poe had fallen in love with him just for being Ben, the early inklings of darkness in him, things like that. How they had married. How Ben had lied to him that night of the massacre. And even as he all but spilled his guts, Finn merely watched him. Poe expected, even in his drunk state, to have Finn be disgusted by him, but instead, Finn had...compassion in his eyes. For him.   
  
When Poe was finished, Finn sighed. "Poe," he said. "That's...kriffed up. I'm sorry."   
  
"Thanks," Poe said. "I guess I needed to hear that."   
  
"You're a good person. One of the best people I've ever met, and your history can't take that away from you. I mean..." Finn sighed. "You and Rey both looked at me like no one ever had. And I'm grateful for that. You gave me a name when they didn't think I was worthy of one. And I'm grateful for that. You...you saw the good in me. And I'm grateful for that."   
  
"Anything, Finn," Poe said. "Anything." Because fundamentally, Finn was a good person. A noble man. And he deserved so much better than the "life" (if you could call it that) the First Order gave him. Finn and Rey both deserved better.   
  
(They all deserved better, actually)   
  
"How's your back?" Poe said.   
  
Finn grimaced. "Still acts up at times. But I'm doing all right."   
  
"I'm sorry," Poe said.   
  
"It's not your fault." _On either count,_ the unspoken message was.   
  
Poe turned to him and raised an empty shot glass. "To Han Solo?"   
  
"Definitely."   
  
"And an end to this damn war?"   
  
"You bet."   
  
And in this moment, in Finn's company, Poe knew that the former stormtrooper was his savior in more ways than one. His rescuer. He had two angels, Ben, and now Finn. Finn as a friend, Ben as a lover and later husband. Ben had become his enemy, but he had Finn. He had Rey, and many others.   
  
And from there...from there, one by one, perhaps he could tell them everything.


End file.
